Actionary man

I need to get better at this whole blogging thing… 

I got the motivation to write another blog post after I read a post from my good friend Larissa talking about reactionary dating.

To sum this up, the post is about how we should date people that will take action, and pursue the relationship with you, creating a partnership, instead of just reacting and saying that they will do things.  I came across this situation this past week but didn't realize it until I read what she said about it.

Honestly, I have really been on a lot of dates in the past three months.  It had gotten to the point where I declared that I didn’t really care about dating, and that I decided to put my efforts into improving in one of my many passions:  Improv.  I honestly looked at this as a good idea, and decided that if someone asked me out on a date, I’d go out with them, but I wouldn’t really pursue the relationship.

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy through some mutual friends. I didn’t really think anything of it, and just thought he was cute. Through the use of the internet he added me as a friend and we did plan a time to go out.  Before our date we talking about relationships and how dating can be difficult.  I shared with him that I would like it if guys at the end of the first date would ask if he could see me again, or if he didn’t think things would work that way.  I think that this is a good way to make it so things wouldn’t be dragged out and the other person knows the intentions of that person.

Our first date really was awesome, and he did share that he wanted to see me again. I was ecstatic, and we planned our next get together.  Throughout the week I would text him every so often and talk to him.  Our second date was great, and I had a great time.  I then continued to text him and talk to him. I then asked him if he wanted to do something last Saturday, so we set a time to do something, and it was great.  I continued to text him and got him to agree to another gathering Tuesday.  Noticing a trend yet? I then tried to plan another thing, but I got the classic, “I’m busy, we’ll have to do next week, I’ll get back to you on it.” At the end of our date Tuesday I told him that he could call me whenever he wanted to. 

 I haven’t texted/called him since our date.  I don’t plan on either.  As my ma would put it, the ball’s in his court.  If he doesn’t call in the coming next week I’ll accept the inevitable that he doesn’t care to continue the relationship.

The question I pose now is, am I being ridiculous in my thinking? Is it wrong of me to have him be the one to put just a little effort in the relationship? Am I being led on?  When did we get to the point where if the other person doesn't talk to you, if means that we should assume that they aren't into you? I'm not gonna put up with this. As Larissa put it, I’m looking for an actionary MAN, not a boy who will react.